Self Care Guilt

in Life with Shari

I’ve been reminding myself a lot lately how important it is to make time to take care of myself. After all we hear it from everywhere. Our friends, self help gurus, Dr's.  But often, when women do finally take a break, when we get back to the “real world”, we feel guilty.

That guilt for me hits because we see that never ending to do list.  No one comes in to sub for us.  The laundry is still there, bills still have to be paid, dinner has to be made and dishes done.  Any feelings of being relaxed disappears.  And the stress is back in full force.  

When that happens to me, not only is the stress back but I also become frustrated and tell myself it’s not worth it. Which of course isn’t true.  The truth is we need a change of mindset.  

Instead of having that voice in our head that says - No, don’t take time for yourself, you’ll pay for it later - we need to tell ourselves - It’s worth it, You’re worth it!!  

Isn't that really the problem?  We need to remember we are worth it.  What needs to change is that feeling that completing the to do list is where our worth comes from.  We also need to remember we are not alone.  Everyone has a never ending to do list.  We are not perfect. 

The to do list is not proof of our worth.  It's just a list.  So how do we change our perception of that work that needs to be done? 

I heard a concept this week that I love.  Don't just have a to do list, also have a to done list.  If you struggle with feelings of frustration when you don't complete your list, start keeping a to done list.  At the end of the day write your list of things you did that day.  Allow yourself to feel good about the things you accomplished.  More than that.  Make sure you see that the most important things are on that list.

What do I mean by the most important things?  I mean, did you look up from your day to enjoy your family?  Did you laugh?  Did you text or chat with a friend?  Play with your dog.  Do one thing that you love?  What if we added those things to our to done list... What if we added those things to our to do list every day?  That would absolutely change that voice in our heads! 

How about you? Do you feel that guilt? How do you deal with it? Or are you one of those people who have already learned that lesson? Then share your wisdom with the rest of us!  I am always ready to learn from others! 


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